Thursday, July 26, 2007

I'm Gay for Count Chocula: Part 2

I'm down to my last box of crack Count Chocula. So it seems like it's high time that I started my highly uneeded comparison of American Count Chocula and Canadian Count Chocula.

Highly thorough and scientific, my comparison looks at five aspects of the cereal: chocolatey-ness, marshmallows, packaging, extras, and overall effect.

Shit, there's nothing better to do, so lets go.

Chocolatey-ness
The Canadian puffs were covered in a lot more chocolate chocolate-like substance, than the American puffs (hey look, I've discovered the strikethrough html!). This led to a more chocolatey milk afterwards. The edge goes to the Canadian Count Chocula.

Canadian Count 1, American Count 0.

Marshmallows

When I first poured a bowl of Canadian Count Chocula, I was all like: "Yo, where be the fuckin marshmallows!". There were a lot fewer marshmallows than in the American Count. In the American version it was almost half and half...or so I remember vaguely. Hell I'm not even sure if I'm right...

Canadian Count 1, American Count 1.
Packaging

No contest. I've already detailed how that American box, with its sepia toned glamour shot of Count Chocula seduced me into buying the cereal.



It's not even fair.

Canadian Count 1, American Count 2.

Extras

I still remember the days when you got actual toys in the cereal boxes. Good stuff too. Cheap, but good.

Now it's all about bullshit games on the back of the box. It's like they don't put any effort into the fun part of cereal anymore.

Still, this:


Oh god I'll stay out, please don't hurt me. Shit, that is one scary monsters poster. (Their words, not mine).

Is a hell of a lot better than this:


You bastards....I don't care about this nutritional bullshit, you guys are just trying to sell more "cereal". You took away my fucking toys, at least give me some hastily put-together word searches and mazes!

Canadian Count 1, American Count 3.

Overall Effect
I'm tired of this excuse for a piece of writing already. Nobody wins.

Except for me. Because I have one box of Count Chocula left. And then I'll buy more, and more. And I'll keep winning. And you can't stop me.

But you can join me.
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Wow. This was incredibly pointless. I'm so, so sorry.

I swear my next one will be better*. I swear.

*not a guarantee.

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