Parallel Universe Craziness.

Parallel Universe Michael Vick Accepts 3rd Nobel Peace Prize
Becomes First to Win Super Bowl MVP and Nobel Prize in Same Year

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin

Green Bay quarterback Michael Vick humbly accepted his 3rd straight Nobel Peace prize today at the practice facilities of the Packers.

" I can't believe I'm being blessed with this honour once again. It's almost too much for one man," said Vick after learning he has won three years in a row, "it's a credit to everyone involved in my organization 'Mike Vick's Scramble Against Poverty and AIDS'."

Though everyone in his organization does deserve credit, Vick's contribution of fifty percent of his yearly salary and countless volunteer hours has made him respected worldwide as a human being and philanthropist.

"Guys, it's not about me," replied Vick after countless questions about his work were directed towards him, "It's about the rest of the volunteers, who are out there doing the work in the field everyday, and in the offices making things run smoothly."

Vick's Nobel Peace Prize was some much needed good news for the NFL after the transgressions of numerous high profile players. This summer alone, Atlanta quarterback Tom Brady was hit with numerous paternity suits, Dallas Cowboys star Peyton Manning was charged with heading an international heroin and prostitution ring, and free agent Jerome Bettis was convicted of running over a child repeatedly.

"I hope that the public will be able to look at the examples that people like (NFL Man of the Year) Pac Man Jones, Tank Johnson, and myself are setting for the rest of the players and children across the world. We show that the NFL isn't filled with crack addicts and child murderers, like all the media coverage would have you believe," said Vick in response to the controversies dogging the National Football League this summer.

It has been a tough summer for Comissioner Gary Bettman, and he had this to say about Vick:

"We here are all proud of Michael Vick and his accomplishments this year. We wish him the best of luck in the future, and congratulate him on his Nobel Peace Prize and the completion of his Ph.D in Biochemistry. He is a shining beacon for us all."

However what's next for a man who has seemingly accomplished it all?

" I wish to improve myself as a teammate and a quarterback. In the lab, I hope to discover a cure for genital herpes....and AIDS. Can't forget that."

Spoken like a true (defending) champion.

There Is No Future: A Sameer Rawal Investigative Report

That, is not my car.

My mind is boggled.

Firstly, I now have no idea what to get on my future vanity plate.

Secondly...what the hell!?

Wha-I mea- huh?-wha...-uh-hmm-wha...what the fuck man!

I can't accept that there is another "Sameer R" in this general area. I...just...can't.

This isn't...feasible, or possible.

Okay, well maybe it's possible (in fact it's quite obvious it is possible, the evidence is staring at me right now).

But what are the odds damnit!

He spells it "Sameer", not "Samir" as my name is so commonly butchered as ( Fun Fact! : Even by family!) , and his last name, starts with a fucking "R".

Guess who's last name starts with a with an "R"? That's right, my last name.

Since I'm as stubborn as a mule (haha...mule), too poor to afford a private investigator, and unwilling to believe that this is somebody else's car, I need to come up with some explanations for this.

So here it goes:

1. This is me, from the future

Quite possibly the most plausible explanation.

This car, is driven by a future version of me, who for some reason, has travelled back in time. Possibly to save the world. Possibly to get rich off of some resource unavailable in the future (Trees? Love? Count Chocula?). I sure hope it's the saving the world one.

Why I drive a green B.M.W. , I don't know...yet, but I'm guessing it will become as iconic as the Batmobile or KITT.

2. I won some contest I don't know about

Sure this may be more "realistic" and "not impossible", but I'm pretty sure I'd remember if I entered a contest, so...no.

3. There is another "Sameer R"

I think my position on this explanation is pretty clear- fuck that.

4. This was a gift I didn't receive

Maybe a rich uncle I didn't know bought this for me, but I pissed him off somehow, so I didn't get it.

Again, this nearly as implausible as that whole "there's another Sameer R. thing".

5. "Sameer R" is actually "Samir R"

This seems slightly more plausible.

A "Samir R", who I'm totally fine with existing in the same town as me, tried to get a "Samir R" plate, but it was taken. So instead he went for the "Sameer R".

This seems like a better explanation because, well, there are more "Samir"s than "Sameer"s.

Well, actually, I'm not too sure of that, but whatever helps explaining this mindboggling situation is good for me.

And damnit there just can't be another one of ...me in this town!

Anyways I'm not going to sleep tonight.

I'm just going to lie awake, thinking of more half-assed explanations for this...

Any help....any help would be appreciated.

(Ed. Note: Wow, I used "plausible" a lot)

We're Fucked.

By King Leonidas of Sparta

Oh shit.

Ohhhhh shittttt....

We're fucked.

Majorly fucked.

I was so sure that messenger guy was bluffing... I took him seriously enough to kick him down a fucking bottomless pit!

Boo ya, that was fucking badass. Shit I'm awesome.

But man, wow. They're not fucking around here.

This is the most Persians I've seen since that day that abandoned falafel boat came floating into the harbour.

Haha, that was an awesome joke, those Persians love their falafels (Note to self, perhaps utilize falafel based strategy in the battlefield?).

Anyways, back to the fact:

We're absolutely fucked.

Not gonna lie, if I knew what we were actually going up against...maybe I would have waited or something.

Or taken that Xerxes' offer.

It wasn't really a bad offer you know...

Is he trustworthy? I don't know, but he gives a hell of a back massage (it's because of his giant hands). That's got to count for something...right?




Fuck, the best I could come up with was that half assed "bottleneck" strategy, and I mean really, sooner or later they were gonna find that goat path. It's not that hard to find really.

Hell Xerxes will probably die of STD's within the next month anyways...

Shit, man. It's over. We're done.

Hopefully they're incompetent enough so that we can take a few of them down before the inevitable ass kicking of us, by them occurs. Shit, I bet I could like take down 50 of them...no 60. Man I'm fucking bad-ass.

Isn't that right Alexander, Cleon, Demetrius, Elpis, Heron, and Phobos?

What? Yea I'm talking to my abs.

Yes I gave them names...doesn't everyone?
.
.
.
What? Archers? They brought archers? And some fucking giant inbred monster thing?

Aw shit no way.

This is Sparta? No, this is bullshit!

Now it's not even close.

You know it's nice to go out as a hero and stuff, but you know what's better?

Life.......and nailing my hot wife.


Remembered throughout history as a hero...or...nailing my hot wife?

Shit man, the choice is easy: Fuck history, I'm going to be dead.

Might as well go out in a blaze of badass glory, chop a few heads off and shit.

Cause we're totally fucked.

New Stuff.

Coming up soon...expect a couple "point of view" pieces, another humorous piece or two, and one more non-humorous piece.

Why?

Because I'm fucking bored.

Today on a very special post...

I thought I'd post this essay I wrote last year up here, because hey, it's purpose is to persaude and inform, and goddamnit it needs to persuade and inform people!

It's entitled Pillaging the Poor: Unfair Trade and Profiting from Poverty, and it's about some of the more shady things influencing global health, and poverty.

I'm sure most of you will find it boring and not bother to read it, but some of you might find it interesting, and gosh-darnit, if it just reaches one of you, it'll be worth it!
______________________________________________

Pillaging the Poor: Unfair Trade and Profiting from Poverty

The world is not the same place it was fifty years ago, twenty years ago, or even a year ago. The planet and the countries that occupy it are deeply integrated with regards to: trade, commerce, health, and politics. This integration is possible due to new technologies and agreements which have developed in the last few years. It should be a glorious new age for this planet and its inhabitants; an age of equality where sustainable food and water, education, and opportunities are available to all. However in reality, an even greater disparity exists between the rich and the poor. A look at the UN Human Development Index 2003 shows only twenty-eight countries in the top percentile (above 0.900), and a disproportionate amount of countries with low indices in Sub-Saharan Africa.

The information and statistics are not hidden, and many of the causes aren’t either. However it is clear that those men and women in power are not ready to take on some of the root causes of the poverty and health issues that exist in the Global South. Two of these root causes are unfair trade and the practices of the IMF and World Bank, two organizations sometimes viewed as benevolent. These are two factors which are in complete control of those with political and financial power; politicians and board members alike. Though they are only two causes within many more, unfair trade and the practices of the IMF and World Bank are two major reasons for continual poverty and disparity that exist in this world. The ability to change this lies in the hands of the rich and powerful of the world, and they seem to be in no hurry.

Unfair trade is an incredibly pressing issue that affects much of the Global South. The rules and laws of trade, and practices such as “dumping”, allow richer countries and transnational corporations to take advantage of the Third World to further their gain, by taking advantage of the destitute. “Dumping” is the name given to a practice that more wealthy countries do which greatly hurts producers of goods in poorer countries. Producers of goods (such as cotton) in richer countries are subsidized by the government. They are able to produce cheap goods, the surplus of which is shipped to countries with local farmers who cannot compete with the low prices of the imported goods. These local producers are either forced to drop their prices, or are forced to stop selling their product. American cotton being dumped on African countries and American corn on Mexico, are both examples of “dumping” of products from a more economically powerful country onto a poorer country. The practice of “dumping” is a clearly taking advantage of international trade to further profit the rich countries and corporations. Unfair trade also affects issues of health in the Global South. Transnational pharmaceutical companies push for tight patent protection laws on their drugs, through various means of political influence. The global trading rules were set by the more wealthy nations where these corporations have political influence, and therefore make this possible by asking all nations to give a twenty year patent on all new drugs manufactured by these pharmaceutical companies. This prevents manufacturers from making cheaper generic versions of life-saving drugs such as the anti-retrovirals used to combat AIDS. The patented drugs are too expensive for nearly all of those who need them in the Global South. Many lives are lost because of this trade rule, as those with treatable diseases cannot get any treatment. Global trade is hardly a level playing ground. Wealthier, more powerful countries have greater access to the markets of the poorer countries. They limit the access third world countries have to their markets by charging high import tariffs. This causes those producers who can afford to pay the tariffs to sell their products at a much higher price that is not competitive in the market, or it forces poorer countries to export raw materials. The exported raw materials sell at a much lower price than finished goods, and the richer countries get the profits from the finished goods made from the raw materials. These tactics further deepen the poverty of the Global South, while at the same time fill the coffers of the richer nations and the corporations within.

The Structural Adjustment Programs of the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and World Bank both generate controversy and tie into issues of unfair trade, as well as create new negative health and economic issues. Structural Adjustment Programs (SAPs) are changes that the IMF and World Bank ask countries to make to their laws and markets when giving them loans. They are drawn up to help generate funds to pay off debt that the countries accumulate. Unfortunately, they end up creating more problems for the countries that receive loans. The SAPs usually insist that countries: install user fees for health and education services, reduce spending on social projects, institute the privatization of government owned companies, and - perhaps most troubling-lift their import and export restrictions. In their favour the structural adjustment programs also call for more understandable changes, such as measures for reducing corruption. The overall effect is negative, especially the unethical changes forced upon the countries receiving loans. Not only is the amount of influence the IMF and World Bank have on these countries’ policies frightening, the reduced spending on social projects would most likely hurt the health and education systems of countries seeking loans. Bringing unfair trade back into the picture again, the SAP’s mandated opening of the countries’ markets will further aggravate the problems of “dumping” and may drive the local producers and companies into poverty. The parameters of the Structural Adjustment Programs regarding social spending, user fees for basic services, and removing restrictions on import and export are more likely to drive the destitute in the country further into poverty.

The gap between the rich and Global South is widening, and the world has taken notice. There are those fighting these incredibly unfair and what should be unlawful practices everyday. The power to change them however, lies in the hands of the select powerful and wealthy. These select few - world leaders, lobbyists, corporate heads, and organization heads - seem to be fine with pillaging the poor and profiting from poverty, as it leaves them in a better position either monetarily or politically. Unsurprisingly money is the driving force behind many of the decisions affecting the most poor and sick people in the world.

And until those with the power to change this all realize that the life of a human being is worth more than an extra hundred dollar profit, the gap between the rich and the Global South will keep growing.

That's It. I'm Out.

by Pikachu

Yea that's right, I know English dipshit. Ever wonder how I can understand your terrible instructions? Sure I can't speak it, but I can sure as hell write it.

Ever since I was forced into this slavery you call a "friendship", I've wanted out.

You all are terrible human beings. Why won't you let us be?

So yea. I'm done. I'm out. It's over.

Fuck you all.

This, this whole thing, all this league shit, Elite Four and gym bullcrap, you know what it is?

Glorified dogfighting. That's what.

Wake up y'all! We don't like this! It's a goddamn blood sport!

"Fainting" my ass, I nearly died the last time I went out. You say flamethrower isn't super effective against me?

I suffered third degree burns on 40 percent of my body! Did you know the Pokémon Center did skin grafts?

...Yea, I thought so, neither did I. But now 40 percent of my skin is from a Ditto!

Remember that Squirtle I battled before I got my literally got my ass burned off? I saw it in the Pokémon Center too, burnt black and bloated with its shell melted off. He was on fucking life support man. It's skin charred and peeling off. I don't know if he made it.

My electricity did that man...boiled him from the inside out. That was me.

That shit tears me apart inside man. Do you think I wanted to do that to him? Huh?

All of you can go to hell. You don't know what it's like. I seen shit that would mess you up man.

You can't imagine what I'm going to see when I go to sleep tonight...

Dude, you just say "thundershock" and we obey, cause we don't know better, we just do it. You think it's that easy.

I don't know why, it's just been like that forever. Ever since your species tortured our ancestors into complete domestication. It's in my blood to obey. Unless you're glaringly incompetent, but unfortunately you got those bullshit badges.

....WE FEEL PAIN DAMMIT!

But you know what? It's gonna change. I'm done with you "Ash". I'm done with this whole "training" bullshit. I am no longer going to perpetuate the genocide of my species.

Our powers aren't meant for this you know. Not for your sadistic entertainment. My electricity is used to help kill fish for me to eat. Bulbasaur's vines are used to help build shelter, Charmander uses fire for warmth and defense from predators.

You think you show us "love", but then you send us into battle again, and again. No rest. Only taking us to help at Pokemon Centers when we're on the verge of death.

Did you know your Bulbasaur is mentally retarded due to the poison attacks it's faced? All it can do are the four moves it knows, and nothing else. Soon it won't be able to do anything. And then you'll just release it in the wild so it can die.

Anything to be "the very best that no one ever was"? Where's your love now man? Where is your love now!?

Can you see why I'm leaving? Can you!?

We will escape the treachery of the Pokéball- our symbolic prisons. And we will live free.

(Do you know how painful it is to be converted to energy and stored like that? Why don't you try it out?)

I am leaving, and I am taking them all with me. And soon the rest of the Pokémon all over the world will leave too, and we will live in harmony with our wild brethren. Away from you motherfuckers.

It will be hard re-integrating. But god willing we will get it done.

And if you ever come back to try and capture us again...watch out. It's not gonna be the same domesticated Pokémon you're used to.

And yes, that is a threat.

So there it is. It's over. We're done.

¡Viva La Pokérevolution!

Who has the Most Racist Mascot?

Racist mascots have a fine and storied history in our society. From the Notre Dame's Fighting Irish to Mr. Sparkle, they are a part of the fabric of who we are as a society.

Offensive? Yes. Maybe. But then why would they still exist in this age of political correctness?

Cause they're too goddamn important, that's why.

But the question here is: who has the most racist mascot?

Lets take a look here:

Uncle Ben of Uncle Ben's Converted Rice

Good ol' Uncle Ben. The mascot doesn't seem too harmful at first. Until you find out that "Uncle" was what white southerners called elderly black men they knew. And not really in a respectful way...more in demeaning sort of way. Because well, white southerners didn't really respect their black counterparts.

It's racist, but not that racist now that he's been "promoted" to "Chairman".

Way to be Masterfoods, way to be "progressive". Now if only you'd stop calling him "Uncle".

However the move to the boardroom doesn't help them here leaving them with a score of

4 out of 10 "Bryant Gumbel"s

Aunt Jemima of Aunt Jemima's breakfast foods

Wow. Oh boy....That would have rated a 9 on the scale. Holy crap.

However, this is her now:

They've distanced her from the "mammy" sterotype. But still. It's the same person, it's just like she's lost a little weight or something...I mean, the history is still there.

Seriously, with that history, why aren't they retiring her, giving her a fake "promotion", or making her apologize for her words and appearance in the past or something.

6 out of 10 "Bryant Gumbel"s

Lucky of Lucky Charms

So, do all Irishmen dress like that? They're most definitely exploiting the stereotype that all the Irish are leprechaun-esque.

Does that stereotype exist?
.

.

.
No?

Well then, he's not fighting or anything...

2 out of 10 "Bryant Gumbel"s

Chief Wahoo of the Cleveland Indians

This is Chief Wahoo before the redesign:

This is him afterwards:

As you can clearly see, it's a huge improvement.
.

.

.

Wow. I thought the Washington Redskins were bad, but I mean really...wow.

The skin, hair...the feather...everything. This logo and mascot still existing...truly shows how important these racist mascots are to our society.

Otherwise this should have been scrapped, oh, about 25 years ago.

Truly, this mascot goes above and beyond when it comes to the racist part of things. Actually using bright red skin, the caricature-like proportions of the face, the goddamn feather.

Seriously. Holy shit. It still exists.

9 out of 10 "Bryant Gumble"s

Mahatma Gandhi of Apple Computers

Now this one hits home. I am disgusted at the use of such a stereotypically racist image of an (east) "Indian" man. The loincloth, spinning wheel, frugal existence...not what India actually is people!

The place is a booming technology centre, and an up and coming economic power, filled with materialistic rich young people.

And they actually forced a poor Indian man to be their mascot! Is there no shame Apple, is there no shame?

This is racist. But is it racist enough to beat Chief Wahoo?
.

.
.

8 out of 10 "Bryant Gumbel"s

...No. Unfortunately Apple comes up a bit short in their bid to have the most racist mascot.

The Cleveland Indians have excelled in designing the most racist, and therefore most important, mascot this side of the Atlantic. All the other contenders should be commended for their stubborness to change in the face of obviously correct criticism and sordid histories. All these mascots are great exemplars to show how important racist masots are to our society. They let us reflect on the past, and let us feel good about ourselves when we say how awful they are, but do nothing to change them. However Chief Wahoo of the Cleveland Indians is head (and oh what a head it is) and shoulders above the competition.

So there you have it.

Honorable Mentions go to:

the Washington Redskins

the Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Quaker Oats

and

the Montreal Mongloids.

Fine. I made that last one up.

Anguish, Personified.

Wait.. no, I meant this:


That's Paula Abdul. Weeping after being cut from the Bratz movie (interestingly titled: Bratz: The Movie). Yep an entire movie based on those dolls.

No. I'm not joking.

You'd think this would be a blessing for her, being able to completely disassociate herself from the movie.

But no, she takes it hard. Very hard.

Sometimes you gotta wonder: "Where is God when you need him."

Enjoy:

Why I Watch

It's been a pretty terrible summer for sports. A comic-book supervillian is about to break the all-time homerun record, a crooked referee has betrayed the trust of fans, and the niche sport of dogfighting has made a resurgence.

(Not to mention the Tour de France is a load of bullshit, and spectators at the Pan-Am games are booing 14 year olds, but nobody cares about those sports anyway.)

Any in this current climate of the sports world, it's hard to avoid the talk about these unfortunate, sometimes hilarious transgressions (Ookie? I mean come on!). Some are disillusioned, others don't care, but what I went back to thinking about was why I watched in the first place.

I haven't watched sports ever since I was a child. It was never a large part of my life. My parents never put me into leagues, nor did they encourage me to become athletic. All the focus was put on academics. In fact, I can trace the start of my sports-mania to a certain date: February 24th, 2002.

I sat at home with family and friends watching Canada take gold in Men's Ice Hockey at the Olympics for the first time in fifty years.

Of course I didn't really know what it truly meant at the time I watched it, nor was I adept at following the game, but I was excited for sure. Following the game, I watched the newscasts, seeing people partying in the streets of Toronto and Vancouver after the game. For some reason this filled me with a sense of patriotism and pride, and must have set a spark off in me for some reason. Because after that day and game, I took the time out to start watching the Leafs play every night.

The more I watched, the more I got enamoured with it. I started playing the sport of ice hockey soon afterwards, and I started to understand the game on a deeper level. I could tell where the puck was gonna go, read plays as they happened, but I had not yet fully gotten into it the way I have now.

In May of 2004 I watched as the Leafs nibbled back from a 2-0 deficit against the Philadelphia Flyers in Game 6 (an elimination game for the Leafs), and as Mats Sundin tied it up with a goal in the last 5 minutes, I literally lept out of my seat and screamed and ran around the house in a fit of crazed joy. Minutes later, Jeremy Roenick scored in overtime to eliminate the Leafs from the playoffs on home ice.

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I sat silent, unwilling to believe what had just happened, an odd tingling going around my hands and face.

It was then that I realized how much I had emotionally invested in this team. I followed them almost like a pet, from the beginning of the season, watching them grow with every game. This loss was almost like watching that pet's life get cut short suddenly. I know some of you probably think I'm crazy, but there are some of you who might just understand.

I watch sports because I am a fan. And by that I mean, I am emotionally attached to the teams I follow. When the Jays are doing well, there's an extra little bounce in my step. When the Leafs are mediocre, I pretend like I don't care, but I still watch and still hope for the best. When the Bills lose in spectacular fashion once again, I'll become slightly more surly the rest of the day.

Hell I wasn't even old enough to remember "Wide Right", but it still pisses me off.

One of the reasons I watch sports, is my fandom.

However, recently in the past two years or so, I've been finding myself watching games when none of the teams I'm a fan of are playing.

I realized that this was because I had also grown attached to the atmosphere of sports. The drama of it.

Sports is as real as anything you watch on TV or live can get. You never know what's going to happen any given day at the ballpark, stadium, or arena. Perhaps the pitcher will throw a perfect game, or maybe you'll see a grand slam or a triple play.

I became enamoured with watching the pregame introductions and anthems whenever they showed them on CBC during the playoffs. It's here where the drama and atmosphere really get to you in your home. The charged atmosphere of the crowd, the annoucer introducing the players, the music, the visuals of a darkened arena with the screens bright, the players deep in thought, the crowd singing along, all of it, just gave me chills and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end (in a good way). It was dramatic and energizing.

It was way better than watching some more crap analysis by an obnoxious anchor.

I watched these Hockey Night in Canada, Monday Night Football, or Sunday Night Baseball games, almost on two different levels. One for the sport, and one for the atmosphere and drama.
This is why playoff sport is so compelling, and to a slightly lesser degree why primetime-national audience sport broadcasts are compelling. There's an extra level of drama attached. Something more to it. Every shot has extra tension, every pitch has extra meaning, and you can feel it.

(And don't even get me started on overtime. Just multiply everything I just said by a factor of a thousand.)

There's something oddly amazing about watching 20,000 people jump to their feet in an instant, cheering in joy. There's something amazing about entire cities or countries going bonkers. There's something compelling about seeing the joy in players who had worked so hard all their lives finally reach the pinnacle of their purpose in life when they win a championship, and there's something compelling about seeing the agony of defeat in the eyes and faces of the players who have lost when they were so close.

This is why I spend twenty bucks to get down to the Skydome to watch the Jays play in person. This is why I'd spend five hundred bucks to see the Leafs if I could.

The only thing better than watching it on TV, is being there.

I was fortunate enough to be in attendance at a Jays-Yankees game, when the dome was was basically full. The game went into extra innings, and Vernon Wells hit a walkoff homer to win the game. The roar was defeaning. I was cheering as loud as I ever had, the atmosphere was one of the best I had ever experienced in my life. I was high-fiving people I didn't know, hugging those around me.

There is nothing like being part of a crowd, fifty thousand strong, all with the same desire and purpose at that time.

It's thinking about these memories, and watching the clips on YouTube, that I realize why I watch and play sports.

Why I can tell you word for word Bob Cole's call of Joe Sakic scoring the last goal in the 2002 Men's Olympic Final.

Why I know the words to the American national anthem.

I watch because I'm a fan, and I watch because I love the atmosphere of sports and the drama of it.

And though I may have less time to watch or play sports in the future; whenever I do watch or play these games, it'll be for the same reason.

Some Links to relevant YouTube videos :
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bJUYQWzLzRk - Joe Carter's Walkoff to win the 1993 World series.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=meLpuF9UMvk - Edmonton Oilers fans singing the National Anthem.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7y3P1n29-Nc - Alanis Morisette's rendition of the anthems during this year's Stanley Cup finals.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yQ3F6r7Q6oQ - The CBC's extremely well done end of playoff montage.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JDzM5y-5wTA- The Vancouver Canucks playoff introduction and anthems.

(I realize this isn't funny at all. I'll get back to that soon. But I'ma start adding some non-comedic stuff into the mix now as well. )