Who has the Most Racist Mascot?

Racist mascots have a fine and storied history in our society. From the Notre Dame's Fighting Irish to Mr. Sparkle, they are a part of the fabric of who we are as a society.

Offensive? Yes. Maybe. But then why would they still exist in this age of political correctness?

Cause they're too goddamn important, that's why.

But the question here is: who has the most racist mascot?

Lets take a look here:

Uncle Ben of Uncle Ben's Converted Rice

Good ol' Uncle Ben. The mascot doesn't seem too harmful at first. Until you find out that "Uncle" was what white southerners called elderly black men they knew. And not really in a respectful way...more in demeaning sort of way. Because well, white southerners didn't really respect their black counterparts.

It's racist, but not that racist now that he's been "promoted" to "Chairman".

Way to be Masterfoods, way to be "progressive". Now if only you'd stop calling him "Uncle".

However the move to the boardroom doesn't help them here leaving them with a score of

4 out of 10 "Bryant Gumbel"s

Aunt Jemima of Aunt Jemima's breakfast foods

Wow. Oh boy....That would have rated a 9 on the scale. Holy crap.

However, this is her now:

They've distanced her from the "mammy" sterotype. But still. It's the same person, it's just like she's lost a little weight or something...I mean, the history is still there.

Seriously, with that history, why aren't they retiring her, giving her a fake "promotion", or making her apologize for her words and appearance in the past or something.

6 out of 10 "Bryant Gumbel"s

Lucky of Lucky Charms

So, do all Irishmen dress like that? They're most definitely exploiting the stereotype that all the Irish are leprechaun-esque.

Does that stereotype exist?
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No?

Well then, he's not fighting or anything...

2 out of 10 "Bryant Gumbel"s

Chief Wahoo of the Cleveland Indians

This is Chief Wahoo before the redesign:

This is him afterwards:

As you can clearly see, it's a huge improvement.
.

.

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Wow. I thought the Washington Redskins were bad, but I mean really...wow.

The skin, hair...the feather...everything. This logo and mascot still existing...truly shows how important these racist mascots are to our society.

Otherwise this should have been scrapped, oh, about 25 years ago.

Truly, this mascot goes above and beyond when it comes to the racist part of things. Actually using bright red skin, the caricature-like proportions of the face, the goddamn feather.

Seriously. Holy shit. It still exists.

9 out of 10 "Bryant Gumble"s

Mahatma Gandhi of Apple Computers

Now this one hits home. I am disgusted at the use of such a stereotypically racist image of an (east) "Indian" man. The loincloth, spinning wheel, frugal existence...not what India actually is people!

The place is a booming technology centre, and an up and coming economic power, filled with materialistic rich young people.

And they actually forced a poor Indian man to be their mascot! Is there no shame Apple, is there no shame?

This is racist. But is it racist enough to beat Chief Wahoo?
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.
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8 out of 10 "Bryant Gumbel"s

...No. Unfortunately Apple comes up a bit short in their bid to have the most racist mascot.

The Cleveland Indians have excelled in designing the most racist, and therefore most important, mascot this side of the Atlantic. All the other contenders should be commended for their stubborness to change in the face of obviously correct criticism and sordid histories. All these mascots are great exemplars to show how important racist masots are to our society. They let us reflect on the past, and let us feel good about ourselves when we say how awful they are, but do nothing to change them. However Chief Wahoo of the Cleveland Indians is head (and oh what a head it is) and shoulders above the competition.

So there you have it.

Honorable Mentions go to:

the Washington Redskins

the Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Quaker Oats

and

the Montreal Mongloids.

Fine. I made that last one up.